How in the hell did I get here?

- How the Hell Did I Get Here? -

I recently celebrated my 37th birthday. Thank-you, I definitely didn't expect to make it to this age. The thing is I've been behind these fences for 16 of those 37 birthdays. I'm not complaining, at least I don't think so, but I am pondering on how the hell I reached this point in my life. Don't misunderstand me I am guilty, and extremely remorseful for the life that I took. So, I have no illusions about the fact that I deserve to be in prison, my thing is do I deserve to die here?
My mother did her very best to instill in me a sense of right and wrong along with different family members and her friends. However, once I reached a certain age I felt as though there was nothing a woman could teach me about being a man. That was one of my biggest mistakes. I now tell my mother every chance I get that she was right about everything she was trying to tell me.
I played football during high school, I'm not saying I was a star or anything, but I was alright. I graduated, and got the opportunity; No, I was blessed with the opportunity to go away to college. It felt like I got caught up in the matrix when I left school and ventured out into the street life. I looked up three years later and I was facing a long stretch due to a tremendously bad choice. Some thing for which I can never make an amends for. However, I do try my best to live my life in a manner that I have, or at least I'm trying, to learn from this situation. That still doesn't stop me from asking myself, "How the Hell did I get here?"

Sean Qualls

Name: Sean Qualls
DOB: 12-2-70
Crime: Murder 2
Time: 15 to Life
Date of Release: nothing definite but up for parole in 6/2010

I'm a straight shooter so basically what you see is what you get. I'm in a constant state of learning. Meaning that I'm a work in progress but I'm not where I used to be. I have many goals and dreams beyond these confines, I'm just struggling to be patient and stop from being to anxious about getting there.