From Nowhere to Now Here Kenneth W. Tolbert

From Nowhere to Now Here
Are you able to slow down? Could you sit peacefully still for 20 minutes a day and do NO-THING? Could you be NOW-HERE? Could you exist within a state of mind so infinite and all-pervasive that it hangs suspended in the balance of a solitude-like force; disembodied from the prevailing trends of frustration born through the birth canal of destructive social forces? Could you?
Well, I did. I was forced to. Forced to take off my shades and surrender to the radiant and blinding force of the sun's light; immediately shown to be flawed. Immediately shown to be imperfect. Immediately shown to be human, able to bleed...
And Oh how I bled. Slowly drained of the spoiled blood taken from the bruises I still carried that have long been expired. And my time to heal is yet to begin... The psychological wounds of shame, rage and self-hatred have all yet to be fully transformed. But at least I have a clue, or so I've been told. I've realized that the worst kind of slave is one who does not realize that he or she is a slave . Always fixing their minds on objects of pleasure. Pathetic isn't it? These transitory and perishable possessions. The particulars of which are always screaming and shouting, fighting for position and demanding attention like precious new born babies. OMYGOD!! will you please put that pacifier in her mouth, I can't take all of this right now. Shutting our emotions up, turning our creativity off. Lying to our EGO's, giving them the power to consume our essence. Falling prey to the thoughts and desires of a limited sense of "I" "You" & "Me". So much suffering and waste... and what the HELL is that smell?! It's the fire and brimstone of our fears devouring the flesh of our "good intentions". It's the putrid, rotting meat of separation that we attach to the skeletal frames of our divine consciousness. It is the "holy" duality of our precious religions. It's the cars we drive, the "bitches" we fuck, the money we take, the "livin' it up". It's the good woman I left behind. It's the good man that is so hard to find...
And for all of this suffering, our anger is still not appeased. But what will ye do in the day of visitation when the desolation shall come from afar? Will you be glued to your T.V. sets? Or washing your pretty car? Or what about shopping at the mall to cop the latest fashions that will spurn the lustful passions of all the weak ass "niggaz" to make them fall? Or will you be faithful and respond to the call? Of a frequency so subtle that it will vibrate through prison walls...
So... Can you slow down? Could you sit peacefully still doing NO-THING in the middle of NOW- HERE?

Kenneth W. Tolbert
Senior Technical Advisor

Bio:
Peace and welcome. Forgive my untidiness, I've been very busy and no one told me you would be here so soon. Please, have a seat and make yourself at home. I'm a little ill-prepared for your sudden visit, so bear with me while I iron out the particulars. Hopefully I can still leave a good impression; such that will leave you wanting to know me on a more intimate level...
Incarceration was actually a blessing in disguise for me although the ride getting here was a little bumpy & distasteful. (You know, the kind that only offers a small bag of peanuts and a miniature sized bottle of water.) But sometimes the slowest way can be the fastest, all depending on how you approach the situation. Robbery was a way for me to overcome my fear of lack and poverty. I didn't understand at the time that everything I thought I was missing in my life was right here inside of me. At the time I was running a studio with a friend of mine. The place gets robbed, our hard work down the drain. So what next? I never considered myself to be a thug, but the "streets" was something like my girl on the side. Afraid to tell her that I don't love her and that we can't do this anymore. Although the sex is amazing and she caters to my every beck and call. Always there... vibrating.. so seductive...
I'm 24 now. I'll be 25 in April(21st). I'll be releasing Jan.28th to Charlotte, N.C. although I was born on Staten Island New York. I've also traveled over-seas a bit. Life has dealt me many unexpected twists and turns. I admit that I am lost most of the time, still trying to figure this thing out, but I know what I want. I have a long road ahead of me, but I am patient. No need to rush. The universe will provide, my vision will define my space. I don't have any children or a woman and I am not looking for either. I am not ready. But time will reveal what space I am meant to inhabit. I promised that I would give myself that chance. So if in the near future you see a ring on my finger...YES! It's true! I am involved. With ME, MYSELF and I AM.
Sincerely,
Senior Technical Advisor

P.S. My name is Kenneth by the way, but please, call me Kenny. All my friends do...